Well, I can have peace, health, OR happiness, and it's going to cost me.
Thanks, oh fearless leaders on the Hill, for being a bunch of dirty, filthy words that my mother rightfully taught me were not to be used in polite company. I spare using those words for her sake, NOT for yours.
Under the threat of having our insurance (through my husband's company) made obsolete, our family has been shopping for plans to cover ourselves. We make too much to qualify for things like Medicaid, but too little to pay the monthly premiums that would double if we want anything more than "catastrophic" coverage. We NEED more than catastrophic coverage, especially with Kid #5 planning a debut in the Spring.
So, rather than be a responsible citizen who repays student loans in a diligent manner, pays credit card balances in full and on time, and being meticulous about the dietary needs (needs, not whims) of my children, we're going to be paying for sub-par coverage so that our quality of life can be passable rather than decent.
Yeah, this HHS stuff is really helpful. I'm so glad the government is looking out for me and my family.
No, I have no shortage of sarcasm where this topic is concerned.
I cried about it, I wrung my hands about it, and now I'm just angry.
May God forgive my weak faith, that this is even an issue that consumes my wayward thoughts. It is precisely times like these that beg the passage from Matthew 7: 26-34...
Look at the birds of the sky; they do not sow or reap,
they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly
Father feeds them. Are you not more important than
they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment
to your life span? Why are you anxious about clothes?
Learn from the way the wildflowers grow. They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor
was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the
grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown
into the furnace tomorrow, will he not much more provide
for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say
"What are we to eat?" or "What are we to drink?" or "What
are we to wear?" All these things the pagans seek. Your
heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek
first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all
these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about
tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.
Sufficient for a day is its own evil.
The "O you of little faith" bit is especially applicable to me in times like these. God has gotten us through worse, yet I sit here and fume and worry like everything is coming apart at the seams.
Please pray for us and that, in all things, God may be glorified.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig...
Well, we survived Colorado. Rather, Colorado survived us. Mostly.
My mother is missing a camera, her water bill will be astronomical thanks to a toddler who is suspected of turning on the tub and LEAVING IT ON for more than 2 hours, and her dachshund has a gimpy back leg that may or may not have been the result of a certain careless toddler (the same who was kind enough to turn on the tub).
The kids did get to bathe in the joys of having a grandmother who catered to their every emotional, physical, and dietary whim, they got to experience the joy of picking out a soda from their great-grandmother's antique Coke machine, they got to harass gigantic dogs in a gigantic yard, they got to see fossils in Woodland Park, black holes in Denver, zombies in a mall crawl, the triumph of a post-marathon grandmother, and they got some great face time with cousins, uncles, aunts, etc.
I got to sit on my butt and hang out with my folks.
Everybody was a winner!
Except for maybe the water bill... and the dachshund...
Alas, it came to an end and we are back east, where the drivers actually use the left lane for passing and they put far too much cream cheese on bagels. :-)
While the trip was a complete joy to experience, there were a few down points:
1. We saw the burn scars from the Waldo Canyon and Black Forest fires. They were sobering, sad, and they have changed the landscape in ways I'm still trying to wrap my brain around.
2. Colorado drivers are terrible. Virginia still holds the spot for most terrible place to drive, but my beloved CO is a close second. I was thrilled to be back behind the wheel straight out of the airport where people go 70 mph in a 45 mph zone like normal Americans and the left lane is truly JUST for passing. Well, that is, until someone with NJ plates shows up and acts like a blind, deaf, quadriplegic student driver.
3. I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to see. The upside to this is that I didn't see anyone that I didn't want to see, either. You take the good, you take the bad... ;-)
4. I'm pregnant, so everything from moving from my bed to the couch to sit and do nothing all day took monumental effort.
5. Two weeks goes so much faster when you don't want it to go anywhere. Again, the upside to this is that I'll be hugging and kissing my beloved husband by tomorrow evening, and that is pretty stellar.
Well, I'm off to choke down my prenatal vitamins, lament that nothing tastes good, pop some popcorn, and watch something lame with the kiddos. I'll spend tomorrow morning in total panic while shrieking at my kids to clean up before my husband returns. He left the house in immaculate shape, so I'm feeling the pressure to keep it that way. :-)
My mother is missing a camera, her water bill will be astronomical thanks to a toddler who is suspected of turning on the tub and LEAVING IT ON for more than 2 hours, and her dachshund has a gimpy back leg that may or may not have been the result of a certain careless toddler (the same who was kind enough to turn on the tub).
The kids did get to bathe in the joys of having a grandmother who catered to their every emotional, physical, and dietary whim, they got to experience the joy of picking out a soda from their great-grandmother's antique Coke machine, they got to harass gigantic dogs in a gigantic yard, they got to see fossils in Woodland Park, black holes in Denver, zombies in a mall crawl, the triumph of a post-marathon grandmother, and they got some great face time with cousins, uncles, aunts, etc.
I got to sit on my butt and hang out with my folks.
Everybody was a winner!
Except for maybe the water bill... and the dachshund...
Alas, it came to an end and we are back east, where the drivers actually use the left lane for passing and they put far too much cream cheese on bagels. :-)
While the trip was a complete joy to experience, there were a few down points:
1. We saw the burn scars from the Waldo Canyon and Black Forest fires. They were sobering, sad, and they have changed the landscape in ways I'm still trying to wrap my brain around.
2. Colorado drivers are terrible. Virginia still holds the spot for most terrible place to drive, but my beloved CO is a close second. I was thrilled to be back behind the wheel straight out of the airport where people go 70 mph in a 45 mph zone like normal Americans and the left lane is truly JUST for passing. Well, that is, until someone with NJ plates shows up and acts like a blind, deaf, quadriplegic student driver.
3. I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to see. The upside to this is that I didn't see anyone that I didn't want to see, either. You take the good, you take the bad... ;-)
4. I'm pregnant, so everything from moving from my bed to the couch to sit and do nothing all day took monumental effort.
5. Two weeks goes so much faster when you don't want it to go anywhere. Again, the upside to this is that I'll be hugging and kissing my beloved husband by tomorrow evening, and that is pretty stellar.
Well, I'm off to choke down my prenatal vitamins, lament that nothing tastes good, pop some popcorn, and watch something lame with the kiddos. I'll spend tomorrow morning in total panic while shrieking at my kids to clean up before my husband returns. He left the house in immaculate shape, so I'm feeling the pressure to keep it that way. :-)
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
All My Bags Are Packed...
I just checked us into our flight. The children are literally vibrating with excitement.
Literally.
I'm not using "literally" as a means of emphasis. I mean they are actually physically vibrating. If you have ever seen my kids get super excited, you know what I mean.
My daughter once got a video game that she desperately wanted for her 5th birthday from my folks. When she pulled it out of the bag, all time stopped and they were frozen with joy. Immediately breaking that was a round of heavy vibrating. It begins in their knees and explodes through their whole body.
Anyway, I have one carry-on bag left to sew (it's assembled and pinned), a few shirts to iron, and lots of house to clean. I'm going to be boiling in anxiety all day. To boot, I have my first prenatal visit at noon.
I'm still mulling over a possible home birth, but I totally dropped the ball on losing the baby weight between pregnancies (for the 5th baby in a row, gaaaaahhhhhhhh), and need to seriously consider whether that is an appropriate move regarding the health and well-being of myself and the baby.
I had my first major crying spell yesterday in the car after a grocery run. I saw a woman going into Chipotle and she had the most adorable pregnant belly. She was tall, slender, a ponytail that was just messy enough to look completely fabulous, and makeup free for a truly glorious mommy glow. I completely lost it at the sight of her, completely ripping myself apart for not ever having a pregnancy that looked even half as cute.
I've pulled off the "Jabba the Hutt" look with flawless precision nearly every time. This time will be the worst of it because I have honestly, truly, literally not lost the baby weight from any of these pregnancies. I'll be kicking my own ass so hard this time around. I've practically threatened my husband with divorce if he doesn't help keep me on my feet and moving. Ok, that's a lie. He's just as adamant as I am and it really feels good to know that he's going to be supportive and awesome and stern when I need it. This baby deserves better from me. All my babies deserve better. I deserve better from me.
Alrighty, this house isn't going to clean itself.
Literally.
I'm not using "literally" as a means of emphasis. I mean they are actually physically vibrating. If you have ever seen my kids get super excited, you know what I mean.
My daughter once got a video game that she desperately wanted for her 5th birthday from my folks. When she pulled it out of the bag, all time stopped and they were frozen with joy. Immediately breaking that was a round of heavy vibrating. It begins in their knees and explodes through their whole body.
Anyway, I have one carry-on bag left to sew (it's assembled and pinned), a few shirts to iron, and lots of house to clean. I'm going to be boiling in anxiety all day. To boot, I have my first prenatal visit at noon.
I'm still mulling over a possible home birth, but I totally dropped the ball on losing the baby weight between pregnancies (for the 5th baby in a row, gaaaaahhhhhhhh), and need to seriously consider whether that is an appropriate move regarding the health and well-being of myself and the baby.
I had my first major crying spell yesterday in the car after a grocery run. I saw a woman going into Chipotle and she had the most adorable pregnant belly. She was tall, slender, a ponytail that was just messy enough to look completely fabulous, and makeup free for a truly glorious mommy glow. I completely lost it at the sight of her, completely ripping myself apart for not ever having a pregnancy that looked even half as cute.
I've pulled off the "Jabba the Hutt" look with flawless precision nearly every time. This time will be the worst of it because I have honestly, truly, literally not lost the baby weight from any of these pregnancies. I'll be kicking my own ass so hard this time around. I've practically threatened my husband with divorce if he doesn't help keep me on my feet and moving. Ok, that's a lie. He's just as adamant as I am and it really feels good to know that he's going to be supportive and awesome and stern when I need it. This baby deserves better from me. All my babies deserve better. I deserve better from me.
Alrighty, this house isn't going to clean itself.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Shakeup, Shakedown...
Just when we find a decent cruising speed, things begin to rattle and vibrate. While we have been in the same place for over three years now (a new record for us!), the winds have brought the scent of change. Our future, while perfectly stable within our family dynamic, has developed a low hum that may develop into a situational earthquake.
I wish I could get more detailed, but I can't. There is so much all at once. Our family has a lot of processing to do before we can even start finding our way through it.
It's not all bad. In fact, hardly any of it is bad. It's new and exciting and adventurous. But there are temporary side effects that really cloud up the fun stuff at first.
Please pray for us all.
In the meantime, I'm happily flitting around the house, cleaning and scrubbing in preparation for our CO trip. Hooray for mountains and clean air and family!
I wish I could get more detailed, but I can't. There is so much all at once. Our family has a lot of processing to do before we can even start finding our way through it.
It's not all bad. In fact, hardly any of it is bad. It's new and exciting and adventurous. But there are temporary side effects that really cloud up the fun stuff at first.
Please pray for us all.
In the meantime, I'm happily flitting around the house, cleaning and scrubbing in preparation for our CO trip. Hooray for mountains and clean air and family!
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