All My Bags Are Packed...

I just checked us into our flight.  The children are literally vibrating with excitement.

Literally.

I'm not using "literally" as a means of emphasis.  I mean they are actually physically vibrating.  If you have ever seen my kids get super excited, you know what I mean.

My daughter once got a video game that she desperately wanted for her 5th birthday from my folks.  When she pulled it out of the bag, all time stopped and they were frozen with joy.  Immediately breaking that was a round of heavy vibrating.  It begins in their knees and explodes through their whole body.

Anyway, I have one carry-on bag left to sew (it's assembled and pinned), a few shirts to iron, and lots of house to clean.  I'm going to be boiling in anxiety all day.  To boot, I have my first prenatal visit at noon.

I'm still mulling over a possible home birth, but I totally dropped the ball on losing the baby weight between pregnancies (for the 5th baby in a row, gaaaaahhhhhhhh), and need to seriously consider whether that is an appropriate move regarding the health and well-being of myself and the baby.

I had my first major crying spell yesterday in the car after a grocery run.  I saw a woman going into Chipotle and she had the most adorable pregnant belly.  She was tall, slender, a ponytail that was just messy enough to look completely fabulous, and makeup free for a truly glorious mommy glow.  I completely lost it at the sight of her, completely ripping myself apart for not ever having a pregnancy that looked even half as cute.

I've pulled off the "Jabba the Hutt" look with flawless precision nearly every time.  This time will be the worst of it because I have honestly, truly, literally not lost the baby weight from any of these pregnancies.  I'll be kicking my own ass so hard this time around.  I've practically threatened my husband with divorce if he doesn't help keep me on my feet and moving.  Ok, that's a lie.  He's just as adamant as I am and it really feels good to know that he's going to be supportive and awesome and stern when I need it.  This baby deserves better from me.  All my babies deserve better.  I deserve better from me.

Alrighty, this house isn't going to clean itself.