My Day's Meme

This is pretty much my reaction to today, and all that it entails:

For the third day in a row, I am dealing with jags of hormonal crying that seem to last forever and a wave of pinned-to-the-couch depression that I can't shake.  When I do find the energy and motivation to actually do something, it's usually too little, too late.  The day is done and I'll just keep everyone awake by rattling around the house.

Tomorrow is an attempted redo of my husband's birthday.  I'm terrified at the kind of company I will be, especially in light of how his actual birthday went.  I have a sitter hired so that the two of us can hopefully have a nice lunch, with a little time left over for walking around downtown or shopping for fencing and tools.  Maybe.

I guess I should clean something.

Oh Snow, Snow, SNOW!!!

It's snowing.  Again.

When I was a kid, I was in love with snow.  Every time it snowed, the entire world felt right.  The weather was cold, prompting cozy days inside drowning in music and food and family, and the landscape was simply amazing to see.  I was aways heartbroken to see it melt, but excited for the next time that it fell.  It may have been my second most important lesson in absence making the heart grow fonder.

But this year, snow has become the stalkery date that doesn't seem to take the hint that the good times are over and there is no way to part kindly now.  We still have drifts and shoveled piles in the parking lot that are four feet high and taller.  There has hardly been time and temperatures adequate for a decent melting in between snowfalls.  It melts enough to turn to ice underneath the next snowfall, but that's it.

Anyway, it's snowing again this morning.  Even my kids are no longer impressed with it, which is a feat that really takes some doing.  They are generally pleased with anything and everything, and snow makes them vibrate with joy (seriously, they vibrate, but I've explained that before).  But this morning when they looked outside, they didn't say a word about it.  They sat down with their giant tub of Legos and got to work making models to recreate the sinking of the Titanic (and create other ocean liners with which to compare/contrast the size of the Titanic, because that's how we roll).

I'm taking a page from their book and getting some much-needed sewing, crocheting, and mending done.  John has gloves that have minor holes, Maria has been more than patient by waiting on me to help with a big refashion project for her blog, I have a handmade Christmas project for Louis' Godparents that needs a final assembling, and I need to stash bust some black wool yarn into either a diaper cover or a hat for the baby.

I really should purge the next room on the list for simplifying and streamlining our lives (the kitchen, cue the doomsday music), but we still have bags and boxes of donations that have yet to go anywhere because I'm not driving them to Goodwill in all of this awful snow.

That's all for today, even though Louis has been a sweet, quiet, blueberry monster of a blogging buddy:

Kansas City, Here I Come...

Actually, I'm not going to Kansas City, but my husband and daughter are.  John's cousin is getting married, he's reading and she is a flower girl, which is why we're not headed to Texas for my cousin's wedding instead. :-)

Can I share something irksome?  My brother is getting married in July.  I'm so excited that he found an awesome girl with a lot going for her, who puts up with his crushing insecurities and overcompensating ego, because in spite of his vacuous faults, he is a tremendous human being who is concerned with nothing more than trying to do the right thing for those around him.

But, like with most weddings, toes get stepped on and feelings get hurt because some freakish pecking order manifests entirely out of necessity, but also entirely by accident.  He was telling me all about the lineup for his groomsmen, where his favorite nephew will find a role (it's no secret that he's totally in love with that particular nephew, and it's actually really sweet), and where one of my nieces will fill the role of flower girl.  I jokingly said, "Oh, my daughter's not good enough, huh?"

"Oh...  I totally forgot about her..."  He was serious.

Ouch.

Admittedly, this is far more my problem than his.  We're across the country from all of our other family.  Homesickness springs up when it's least convenient and I project this funky anger toward my parents and siblings, like it is somehow their fault that I made the choice to support my husband in any and all things, including his finding a job in America's armpit.  The job, the people we've met, the way we've adapted and blossomed where we've been planted, have all been more than worth it, but little things like this pop up and it hurts to think that, because we aren't all buzzing around the same hive, we have somehow lost track of one another.  It's still an adjustment, because more than half of my life has been all about those same eight people.  I've only had a life all about my husband and kids for 10-11 years.  Things like the births of new nieces and nephews, the deaths of friends and family, major health crises, weddings, and daily goings-on make it hard to be so far from them.

I'm more than well aware that he didn't mean to be hurtful.  He's in Hawaii, thanks to the Army, and is in the same boat as far as feeling a little left-fielded regarding family matters, only he's without a family of his own to otherwise consume his time and attention.  Until he gets married, he's literally rat racing his way through his days.  If it were a contest, he wins the homesickness award.  It's not even debatable.  But, like I said, these little things get the homesickness "wounds" reopened and I have to sort through all of the stuff that has led me here.

What makes it worse is that I probably won't be able to get to his wedding and refill my heart on extended family time, especially welcoming someone as awesome as his intended, because I will be mere weeks postpartum with Kid #5.

The up side to all of this is that the time I do get to spend with both my family and my husband's family is drama-free (mostly, ha ha), exceptionally wonderful, filled with hugs and laughter, and makes the homesickness all but disappear.

The last thing my grandfather said to me in person before he died was that getting away from our families was going to be the best thing we could do for our new little family.  He said that after he got married to my grandmother, they hopped in a car, waved goodbye to their families, and never regretted being everywhere else.  I thought he was joking, but time proved that he was right.  This time away has strengthened my marriage because John and I have to rely on one another to make our days function.  I've grown so much in my role as wife and mother because I had to, but I have also been able to really find the joy and happiness in the necessity.

I'm not even sure where this rant is going anymore, and little fingers are tapping me on the back, reminding me that we have a day full of errands that need to happen on order to get ready for the weekend ahead.  Apart from John and the girl traveling to KC, the boys have their Pinewood Derby this weekend, which means I have to unearth the carving tools, ready the First Aid kit, try to decide what baked good I will offer to the bake sale ladies, do laundry, get the travelers prepped and packed, and try to make it all happen without losing my mind. :-)

I want my mommy!

Death and Taxes

I had intended to finish our taxes yesterday, but I became absolutely consumed with cleaning out the front closet and the newly appointed school desk.

I didn't take a "before" shot of the closet, but it was far more labor intensive than I had expected.  I got rid of our incomplete board games and tossed some unnecessary posters that were lingering from the mister's conference marathon a couple of years ago.  I also got his exercise equipment straightened and some of it stored in the cabinet.  Oh, and I found Legos.  That's always a celebratory event around here.

I even got a little carried away with organizing

the coats from oldest to youngest wearer.

The desk, however, is something of a crowning achievement.  It has been, for years, a catch-all for just about everything under the sun and it has been in constant disarray:

I forgot to take the "before" when I started.

This craptastic mess is about halfway

to being done.  Shocking!

But then it became this dazzling beauty!  There was 

indeed a desk under all of that hideous mess!

A lone basket of yarn remains underneath the desk on a little

shelf, but that's only because I have yet to overhaul

the new catch-all for the crafting stuff.

The moral of the story is that we have too much stuff, especially for the space in which we live.  Simplifying has been freeing, and I'm all too thrilled that the children now have a place to sit and do their school stuff and the desk is no longer such an abomination to the living room.  I also plan to paint it white, but that can wait.  "That'll do, pig," is all that is ringing in my living room right now. :-)

In culinary adventures, we tried a cauliflower crust for pizza the other day!  It was an exciting and tasty experiment, but unfortunately a one-time thing.  The crust had the consistency of soggy bread, which couldn't help but overshadow the absolute deliciousness of it.  Boo...

Steamed and wrung out "riced" cauliflower.

Add cheese, a myriad of herbs, an egg...

mix it together and ball it like a dough...

and then slap it on a cookie sheet lined with parchment, 

spread it thin with your fingers, bake it, top it, bake it again,

and that's it!

Still...  "soggy bread" texture...  sigh...

Anyway, we are celebrating the finalization of our taxes and the death of crammed, terrible clutter in the living room!  Next up is the kitchen!

Monday Mondaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy...

This past weekend was a blur of productive activity and time well-spent with dear friends!

First with the super-duper awesome news: We have paid off two of three medical bills from Kid #4's surgery as of the 10th!  That leaves one to go!  WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!  

Friday evening was spent prepping the less-than-normally-disastrous living room for carpet shampooing.  Yes, this is a slight admission of defeat as far as laminate flooring goes.  It looks like we'll be waiting until into next year to get flooring installed.

Just to keep the dream in mind, white cabinetry and shelving will be constant throughout the house, while we opt for dark laminate for the entire downstairs:

Le siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh...

(and source)

Paying for the baby's birth and getting a fence installed are more important right now (this snow has been a BIG wake-up call regarding all of the foot traffic that comes through our yard), and those are all that current funds will allow.  So, we shampooed these sad, abused carpets.

The difference was astounding.  My husband went over the living room twice and, though there are still troublesome spots, the carpet color lightened nearly three shades (almost to normal).  He also boxed an entire bookshelf's worth of books, freeing up a bookshelf to be tossed (it was hideous in both composition and appearance, back from when we were first married and desperate for anything to put his books on) and freeing up some much appreciated space in the living room.

We then moved our efforts upstairs to the bedrooms, which didn't need the treatment nearly as much, but was still very appreciated.  It was certainly an eye-opener as far as the sheer amount of stuff that we still have that we do not need to be hanging onto.  And with the living room pared down so much and so beautifully simplified, the rest of the house is begging for a really hard, thorough purge.  Goodwill is going to be seeing a lot of us at the donation center this week!

After Saturday was spent doing all of that work, we had a gloriously easy Sunday with going to liturgy in the morning and then spending the afternoon cooking for a celebratory dinner in the evening with Kid #4's Godparents on their farm.  The kids went sledding while the husbands supervised, and the wives were in the the kitchen talking about the men and making some amazing lamb chops (raised on their farm).

The kids were exhausted when the evening was done and went to bed without the usual "forgotten" glass of water or outright protest.  My husband and I caught a few Olympic highlights before turning in at a blessedly early 10 p.m.

Today, the cleaning will continue with our front closet and finishing up the once-craft-but-now-school desk.  The afternoon is reserved for finally getting our taxes filed and completed, shoe shopping for my daughter's role in a wedding this weekend, and getting a few errands done at the dry cleaners, bank, grocery store, Target, and a craft store or two to make wedding presents before the weekend.  My husband and I both have cousins getting married this weekend, and I'm thinking these will make cute gifts:

Pinterest saves the day again!

(source)