Saturday's Sayings

I did not post yesterday.  Truth be told, I was drained.  Kid #4 has learned to defeat the fridge lock.  We have had it on the fridge for a whole week.  The day after we installed it, he broke it by hanging on to the plastic strap that attaches the anchor end to the latching end.  Lesson learned, I installed another one at the top of the fridge door.  He now pushes over a chair from the dining table and opens the latch the way it's supposed to be opened.  He figured out how to operate it in less than a day!  Now, his favorite pastime is to flip the tap on our filter jug and let the water drain as he runs away to time out.

Yes, he's 2 and can predict the consequences of his actions to the point that he's in time out before stupid ol' Mommy can even make it to the kitchen to flip off the water.  The icing on this pooptacular cake is that the linoleum seam is now peeling and curling right in front of the fridge.  It looks super classy.

Pile multiple incidents like that onto a stabbing headache, the sheer horror of the state of the house, and kid #2's UTI, yesterday was a total bust.  Out of it, however, came a few gems that I will now share...

Kid #2 (age 7), on his first urinary tract infection:
"My body won't stop telling me to pee!!!"
and
"I feel better, but my body had a pee tantrum."

Also, from earlier in the week:
On our way home from the grocery store, we saw two Mormon missionaries nearby.
Kid #1 (age 9): "Mormons?  They're real?!"
Me, laughing hysterically: "Yes, honey, they're real."
Kid #1: "We should probably tell them to be Catholic."
Me, laughing even harder: "Ok!"
Kid #3 (my 5 year old girl), speaking as if they were a couple of puppies: "Aw!  Maybe we can adopt them!"
At this point, I was laughing so hard that I started dry heaving and considered pulling the car over until I recovered.

Well, today will now be drowned in efforts to clean the house.  The mister returns from his grandmother's funeral tomorrow.  We'll have to do Father's Day for him on Monday, with a nice dinner and a simple dessert.  But the best I can do until then is make sure he comes home to a clean house.